Monday, September 10, 2007

Oft Expectation Fails

"Let every eye negotiate for itself /And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch/Against whose charms faith melteth in blood."
-From Much Ado About Nothing
Disclaimer: Before you read this, if you did not see Britney's performance, watch the first minute of this shit-show and you'll understand the rest of this blog.
Oh, Britney! Why!? Why must you always let me down so? First, you dumped Kevin Federline--the man for you -- for a life of debauchery and neglecting your children. Now, you have this "comeback" on the MTV VMAs, your one opportunity to spite the critics, and what did you do? You danced like you were in a drunken stupor, you sang like...well, you let the recording do that job, and you performed like you were in a 3rd grade talent show (one in which you neglected to wear clothing). Why must you continue to fail me?
Thank the lord Sarah Silverman made fun of you. You've become such an easy target, Brit. I do feel for you a little bit. I understand you didnt have an adolescence because you were too busy becoming famous and making money. I'm sure that must be so tough to think you wasted your youth becoming famous and making money. But, have you ever once thought in your Southern-fried brain that maybe, just maybe, you had fans you should keep up the good work for? Have you ever once thought in all your crazy..."Like, maybe I should try to be my best for my fans?"
I'm no dance coach, but your moves were slow, off-time, boring, and lazy. You used to be a fun dancer to watch. If anything, the performance part was all you had going for you. Oh, and your good body which, I'm not saying anything but maybe, just maybe, you should've worn a complete shirt. Britney, come on, confess it all, you were stoned, right? Please, PLEASE, tell me thats why your performance was in slow-motion!
In conclusion Brit, your reputation won't do it all for you anymore. You can't just show up to a big event and shake a little while moving your mouth and think "Heck, I'm going to cause a stir! Everyone is going to love this!" You're no longer the snake charmer, the school girl is long-gone, and who cares that you kissed Madonna (wash your mouth out Madonna). You're just a blonde who, at one point in her lifetime, was unstoppable. Officially, you've been stopped Britney and you only have yourself to blame. Yet, I'll probably download your new songs because, gosh-darnit, they're somewhat catchy!

I guess you win again B. Spears.

~The Lady~