Monday, February 18, 2008

Love Looks Not With The Eyes

On a very belated note, I would like to say that I adore Valentine's day. I made this comment this past Valentine's days and a student replied "I love, love." It was weird. Regardless of this weird little student, I love Valentine's day and I'm not backing down on this one.

I hear people say "Valentine's day was created by the card companies" and I cringe. Who cares why the holiday was created? Get over it. The holday has been around for a while and--for all you lovely gents' trying to use that excuse--the ladies love this holiday regardless of what they say. Yes, the cards and the hearts are corny but there is something special about the day that makes me love, love. Men, take your girlfriends or wives out to a cheesy movie, get them flowers and chocolates, and make sure they know you care. Ladies, give your husbands or boyfriends exactly what they want--a bj* and a beer.

Why can't we go back to middle school where you got to hand out those little Valentine's with Garfield smiling on the front (yeah, I'm that old) and a lollipop half-assed attached to it. Those days, I saved the special "hint" of a Valentine for the cute boy in the class. His Valentine was always the nicest, most obvious proclamation of love. If we kept up this practice, as adults, girls could give their respective crushes cards that read "I want to do YOU, XOXO" or "Can we have sex but take the relationship further after...PLEASE?" Or, maybe "I look hotter after 32 beers!"

Nevertheless, I think we should use this holiday as a day to tell everyone we love them. For example, this year I chose to tell my favorite local hobo that I love his dedication to harassing strangers for change. I told him I respected any man who could get strangers to give him money for booze. He smiled at me, his one tooth dangling menacingly, and asked me for a nickel. I gave him a dollar and a sweet "Happy Valentine's day," before he fell asleep on an empty 40oz.

I would also like to make a point that V-Day is not just for the "coupled." Single ladies, its a day to get together with your girlfriends, drink a cosmo, eat chocolates and bitch about catty-skanks and mean boys. Chat about your birth control pills, bras, and who looks like they've lost weight. Give each other flowers and celebrate the beauty that comes with being able to blame a whole week's worth of bitchiness on "PMS." Go to a bar, dance, get crazy drunk, and enjoy being unattached. One day, you'll think back to this crazy Valentine's night and smile.

Men, dudes, chicos, and all you single guys who are enjoying Valentine's Day alone, I say you go out and get laid. Find one of the above vulnerable ladies and give them a V-Day they'll never forget. Years later, when these women are pregnant and unhappily married they'll think about that one-night of bliss. You will all appreciate Valentine's Day more if you follow my lead.

I love, love and, although I have been a poor blogger these days, I love you all.

~The Love Lady~

*The lady apologizes for her crude mouth. She will wash it out later with soap and/or vodka.