"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?"
--From Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 33)
I love my boyfriend very much but if he never finds this post I'd be alright with it. This is it, my take on the men on television and film that make me swoon. Sometimes these men are the only reason I go to the movies...oh...and for entertainment. So, here it is, my top ten list of the hot actors. Get ready for the flames ladies and gents b/c these boys are SMOKING! Forget I said that. Finding pictures for this entry took hours because I got so distracted by their sultry features. Mmm...ok...I digress.
TOP TEN HOTTEST MEN (as I see it)
#10. Brad Pitt (in Troy and in Troy only)-I know, I know, how shocking that I think Brad is one of the hottest actors alive. Yet, I have a stipulation; I only think he is super hot in the movie Troy. I could take him or leave him in the Ocean’s flix (he has many other gents to compete with in my mind) or Mrs. and Mrs. Smith. When it comes to Troy though, he puts on that loin cloth and slays a man with a spear from miles away and my heart begins to flutter. So maybe I’m not in love with Brad Pitt but, instead, Achiles. Half a god! If he wasn’t a mythical character from ancient Greece he could have my heart on a silver platter. Shucks!
#9. Mark Ruffalo – To me, he is the quintessential guy. This man graces many a romantic comedy and he's charmed my pants off more than once. He reminds me of any number of my brother's friends (if they were cuter with better manners...and hygiene). I don’t think he tries too hard when he’s acting I think he’s just a man’s man and he could be this lady’s man if he wanted to be. I just want to pinch his cheeks! Too much? Moving on..
#8. Doug Savant - If you watch Desperate Housewives you will understand why I adore this man (well, not as much lately but I remember the good ole' days of Doug). He is the cutest husband ever on a television show where men and women tend to do bad things to one another. Him and Lynette are super cute together (once again, not as of late but I expect a comeback). If the writers of that show ever divorce those two I will never watch the show again. He's just adorable and the ideal husband to many female viewers who swoon over this FILF (father I'd like to *wink*)!
#7. Orlando Bloom- Only since the most recent Pirates of the Carribean movie have I fallen for Mr. Bloom. To be honest, in the Lord of the Ring trilogies I thought his character was, um, uh, a little…light in the loafers? *cough* Not that I don’t accept and love all people but I just thought…and in Troy he was annoying and whiney and the cause of Eric Bana’s death (see Bana later in this list) so I didn’t enjoy him till this last Pirates. I have since formed a crush on this young star and his swash buckling ways. I join the ranks of swooning pre-teens everywhere when I state that there is just something about Orlando Bloom.
#6. Hugh Grant – Hugh Grant is getting up there in years but has found a way to break out of the “I’m a pouty-nervous- good guy” roles he started his career with. He now plays manipulative, charming, asshole roles…and I love both sides of Mr. Grant. When I was young, and a bigger nerd than I am now, I loved Hugh in Sense and Sensibility and thats when I knew he was the Brit for me. I’ll forego the thought of him and that prostitute because, well, he’s so damned charming I’d forget about it instantly. He’d wink, smile, or nod his head and I’d melt. Damn Brits with their charm and lovely accents!
#5. Christopher Gorham- I am a big-HUGE Ugly Betty fan and Christopher plays the nerdiest-nerd, and love interest to Betty, named Henry. He plays this loveable nerd so well that, recently, I've taken to making my boyfriend (with his lame 20-20 vision) wear thick dark glasses. I think Mr. Gorham is one of the reasons I stuck to the show. He makes the nerd realistic, goofy, and romantic. He has avenged nerds everywhere, hey, they should make a movie about Nerds who take their revenge...
#4. Johnny Depp - Although most women swoon over Depp’s good looks I swoon over his acting. My lord, this man can play anything. He can work me into a frenzy with any character he takes on and he does so with every role. He could do an interpretive reading of the encyclopedia from A-Z and somewhere in there I would have laughed, cried, swooned and applauded. At the end of his reading I would probably hand him the Bible and tell him to go at it. I think I’d become more religious. Praise Jesus and pass me some Johnny Depp.
#3. Colin Firth – He's handsome, he's British, and he played Mr. Darcy in the original BBC Pride & Prejudice (did I mention I am a nerd?). Colin Firth is the sexy man of mystery in most of his movies. Then, when he finally does speak, its usually the sweetest lines writers have ever written. Him as Mr. Darcy in P&P changed my opinions about what a real man should be like. Bridget Jones' Diary talks of her love for the actor, Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. Then, as handsome as he could be, he played Mark Darcy in the movie. He has this sad look about him in most of his movies. Apparently he has a film out with loads of orgies in it called Where the Truth Lies. Next stop, Blockbuster! I just want to hold him against my bosom and cheer him up. Even in Nanny Mcphee with his foppish hair I just want to love him and, subsequently, take care of his 12 children. The things I’d do for Colin Firth.
#2. Eric Bana – In the film Munich Eric Bana plays an introverted, tortured, assassin leading a dangerous life and killing those he was hired to kill in honor of the Israelis who died at the Olympics. For some reason, even describing Eric Bana in this film makes me want to find & bed him. That’s sort of sick so I’ll move onto him in Troy where he plays a tortured Prince trying to save the ass of his brother and killing those who want to take down his beloved Sparta. Hm, I’m still sort of warped aren’t I? In conclusion, he’s hot and I love me some rough men who kill for the ones they love. Sicko.
And now, #1. Hugh Jackman – I love him. I love him so much that if he called me up today and said “Lady, to be mine you must scale the Empire State building” I would figure out a way to rig myself up that building and climb my way into his heart. I’ve loved him since Someone Like You (only true romantic-chick-flick fans would know of this one) when he acted tough but I knew, deep down, he was a softy. I loved when he got really hairy and muscular to play Wolverine in the X-Men movies. I think I fell deeper into love with him when he played an eccentric gay man on Broadway in Boy from Oz because, well, every man I love is either gay or gay. I would’ve sold my prized dog Vinnie to see him perform on Broadway. The Prestige made me want to love him more but I was already too deep. I think my love stems from seeing him in interviews and him seeming so nice and funny. That combo really adds to his tall and handsome look. Plus, I have a soft spot in my heart for men who can sing (which he can).
Now I'm sure many ladies, and some guys, are contemplating their own lists now -- matching theirs up to mine. Thats the beauty about your own personal top ten list its based on a lot of movies, characteristics you love about the bevy of handsome men out there and changes as much as we ladies change our hair color.
For now, sweet dreams of beautiful men!