Sunday, June 1, 2008

A Stop of Wine, Mistress Maria


"Dost thou think because thou art virtuous
there shall be no more cakes and ale?"
-Sir Toby, "Twelfth Night"
Lately, there is nothing in this world I love more than my boyfriend. I mean, I've loved him since the day he stalked me on campus but, recently he has become someone that I love more than anything. After the many internal understanding that he might read this blog and, subsequently, he would learn of my love of the many celebrities I call boyfriends #2-#30, he read this very blog. Although I try not to disclose too much about myself on this, I will say that my boyfriend laughed at my posts. It was more rewarding than a paycheck on payday. Its one thing to have one or two avid readers but to have someone who knows you better than anyone else laugh outloud at your writing feels nice. It feels just as nice as birthday cake and a glass of wine.

Recently, a good friend of mine celebrated her birthday. As I have become a big fan of cake, and it was a birthday, I decided to pick one up for the lovely 20 year old. As the party of friends drank and was merry, we decided to cut the cake. Someone decided the cake slices would be as big as our faces and, thusly, we all got diabetes that night. The cake might have been delicious but, our plates were piled high with large slices and the sugar comas were abundant. As I washed it down with a fresh glass of Franzia's Sunset Blush,I realized how much I love wine, cake and my boyfriend.
My father called me a wino. In my defense, my father joined a wine of the month club for two months. It was the most wonderful months of my life. As we ripped through the packaging of our fresh box of 12 different wines I exclaimed, "Father, this is the best decision you have ever made." Second only to having (and keeping) me as a daughter, the wine-of-the-month was a fabulous idea for my Dad to come up with on his own. Each month, we recieved all types of delicious wines from all over the world. Shiraz from Australia, Cabernet from Italy, and Pinot from California delighted me every time we opened up the monthly box. Then, my mother found out about how much the wine of the month was costing and cut short our wine-loving livelihood.
The boxes stopped arriving at our doorstep. A 21-year-old didn't have to be present to sign for that precious box. The clouds loomed and God stopped smiling in the days to follow. Since then, Papa has hoarded every remaining wine from his club. Each time I secretly steal or open one he catches me, calls me a wino and reminds me that hes running low. I still steal them because--as he informed me--I'm a wino. I don't discriminate either. Boxed wine is the gift that keeps on giving. Whoever thought that 1 bottle of wine couldn't beat 5 liters is someone I must thank profusely. The boxed wine creators got me through my junior year of college. The boxed wine creators also created a reasonably priced way to pretend I was elegant whilst getting shitfaced. I'll pretty much drink cooking wine if it hits the spot. Next up, pure vinegar. And, with all that classiness bottled into one lady, my boyfriend still loves me for who I am.
Its also my boyfriend's fault that I've become obsessed with cake. His family has the most delicious cakes at his house all the time. I was never a true lover of cake until his birthday in which I ate my own slice and then asked the fattest question of his brother, "Are you going to finish that?" The lovely boyfriend and I also watched a cake contest on the Food Network for an entire afternoon (be jealous of our invigorating lifestyle) and it made me want to eat every cake that was ever made. There are so many sweet adittions to my life since I've met him and different cakes, and my new appreciation for cake has just been the sweet icing to our love. Also, we play Mario Party together and this pictures is the best cake for a couple with such nerdy inclinations.
To sum it all together. My boyfriend is a wonderful person who loves me for everything I am and every weird nuance I have.
All we need is love, let us drink and be merry, and let them eat cake!
~The Lady~
(this is a cake topper...that I love)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!