Thursday, July 29, 2010

Clothe My Naked Villany

"And thus I clothe my naked villany
With odd old ends stol'n out of holy writ,
And seem a saint, when most I play the devil."
King Richard III (I, iii, 336-338)

It’s been decided, I shall become a nudist. With the recent heat influx of, roughly, a billion degrees Fahrenheit – I’ve decided that clothes are no longer necessary. While not a nudist currently, during this past week I kinda get their lifestyle. Foregoing clothes has become the only solution to my heat induced hysteria.
In all honestly, I really like clothes. I like fashion and pairing this shirt, with that skirt, and color coordinating my wardrobe. With all that said, this past week has made me want to throw every article of clothing away and go ala-buff.
Going outside feels like some greater being is saying “Here, Melissa! Enjoy my hot breath!” I watched sizzling flowers combust into yellow ash, a drowsy bird drop woozily low to the ground, drunk from the sun. I felt the pain of a squirrel holding up his hands to the sky asking for a swift death. The heat has been so gross, it’s all I talk about.
I say the words “gross” and “stifling” at least four times a day. And, if nothing else, it’s a great way to break up an awkward pause in a conversation. “God, it’s hot out there – am I right? Eh? It’s stifling! Man, this weather is gross! Did you hear its going to be 103 tomorrow? Gross. Ew! Hot, hot, hot! Gross.”
Aside from it being hot outside, I’ve become horribly attached to my air conditioning. If there were meetings for those addicted to Air Conditioning I would have to stand up, say my name, and confess that I have a problem. Once inside, away from the heat blanket that has become life, I go into an A.C coma. I forget my name, I forget where I am, but I remember the cool sweetness of my air-conditioner and how it loves me unconditionally.
I walked outside of air-conditioning for 1 minute yesterday, and when I went back in it looked as if I’d jumped into a pool of hot water. My face was red & my large hair, which takes forever to wet, was dripping. It took me 35 minutes of air-conditioning and two Sham-Wows to dry myself off from my dip in the heat.
So maybe, just maybe, if I become a nudist things would be cooler. Or maybe, just maybe, I’d still be hot and hearing the word “gross” being referenced about the weather & my socially unacceptable behavior. 

A toast to cooling down,

The Lady


Anonymous said...

[color=#f2984c]Awesome site! I haven't noticed before in my browsing!I found very useful information about
[/color] [url=]anti-aging[/url] [color=#f2984c]here... Keep up the hard work![/color]

Anonymous said...

[color=#f2984c]Interesting post! thank you for sharing this information. really got under my
[/color] [url=]skin,[/url] [color=#f2984c]bookmarked... Keep up the good site...[/color]

Sara said...

I don't care if you're a nudist or not now, but the eyes on your blog header freak me out hardcore. Just wanted you to know. :P

The Lady Doth Protest said...

Agreed Sara, I've been meaning to change it for weeks. LOL...since I post so infrequently, thanks for reminding me.

Anonymous said...

Rather cool blog you've got here. Thank you for it. I like such topics and everything connected to this matter. I would like to read more soon.

Anete Smith
escorts high class

Anonymous said...

Pretty interesting place you've got here. Thanx for it. I like such themes and everything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more soon.

Bella Smith
escorts in drogheda

Anonymous said...

I would like to read more on that site soon. BTW, pretty nice design that site has, but don’t you think it should be changed once in a few months?

Anonymous said...

This is very fine web site, thank you and look at that [url=http;//]gry dla dzieci[/url]

Anonymous said...

Damn, certainly nice info. How can I get this subscription?

Katty Meetington
bug detection

Anonymous said...

The conferencе businеss has nоω еndeԁ becаuse information technοlogy has гesulted
into development οf wοndeгful websites with the clіcκ of a mоuse.

Нe taught me a νaluable lеsson that night:
ӏ ωas going businesѕ to total $1000.

mу homepage ::

Anonymous said...

They help the human body to the Paleo means planning the foods
you'll eat for breakfast and lunch evening meal no problem, and we do our best to ask for it on the menu.

Also visit my web-site ... diet menu ideas

Anonymous said...

4 So, similar content does not get penalized. Of the many platforms out there
for websites, knowledge about it, live and breathe partnership, and if my article sounded as if I was
saying the opposite, I wish to clarify that. There are Facebook pages promoting causes and representing
organizations, and even images. Sign up for Search engines Website
owner Central, Google Website owner Tools and Google
Site Explorer to explore how google see your website on the World Wide Web!

Here is my website :: search engine placement google