"When life hands you lemonades, run home screaming in horror because even life is telling things are looking sour" - a Lady original piece.
9:37 a.m and this is already shaping up to be an epic-fail kind of day.
- First of all, the Phillies played a fantastically exciting game until 12 last night. I am a Grandma in so many ways that staying up until 12 has now hit me hard. Staying up has hit me harder than a Suzuki hitting a defenseless woman crossing the street. I am feeling the pain.
- My eyes are burning. A combination of "I need new contacts" and "I lack sleep" have turned into "I can't open my eyes properly.
- My new blouse, out of the blue, decided that its sleeve would rip open. It was such a cute blouse. I have thrown out the receipt, and, thusly, will have to live with the rip. For the bones I spent on this bad-boy, I really deserve and entirely new shirt. SERIOUSLY. Look how cute it is! Thank the Lord I have this sweater to cover the holey-situation. RIP precious tunic top. You served me well. Alright, you served me for about an hour and then your seams pooped out on life.
- I have a tummy ache. I just want to crawl into child's pose, drink some ginger-ale and call it a day.
- A co-worker, who I don't really know well, walked by me and giggled as if I'd said something funny, but I hadn't. She then proceeded to giggle, correct herself and move on. I haven't moved on because I am fairly certain she was just laughing at me. Awesome.
- Someone said to me the following dreaded phrase: "You look tired." Stick a fork in me, I'm done. Jeez. Saying someone "looks tired" encompasses so many insults. Not only do you look sleep-deprived, you have bags under your eyes proving this fact. Not only did you probably not get sleep, and feel generally crappy, your face, body and (ripped) outfit all prove the fact that you are a waste of life right now.
- It's Tuesday. Not Friday. Not even close. I woke up thinking it was Thursday (who knows why) and was sadly mistaken.
- Finally, the cafeteria is playing "PINK's greatest hits" - while I appreciate a good Pink song every now and again, 80 minutes of this has sent me, officially, over the deep end.
Trying to make some lemonade out of life's lemons,